This Time Imperfect
by GoddessofSnark
Summary: Songfic to the song of the same title by AFI, bit of HGSS drabble set after a dark revel.


A/N So I took a break out of Never Forget to write this little bit of a song fic. I don't own the song or the characters, but I do own the plot. The song is "This Time Imperfect" by AFI which is a hidden track on one of their albums. I always thought that AFI's songs fit Sev quite well, but this one especially so. So this is just a bit of HG/SS drabble.  
  
START  
  
He stalked towards the castle, well stalked as well as he could. He body was on fire, he could barely even stand much less walk. But he fought his hardest on his way back to his safety. He was getting to old for this. He collapsed onto the ground still some distance from the doors. He let his body succumb to the spasms that wracked it. He felt the tremors stop, but stayed there, on the ground to weak to get up. He heard footsteps coming, but still made no movement, he couldn't. He knew that he didn't have much time left, he had been found out as a spy, but yet, for some odd reason, Voldemort kept him around, if only to torture for fun. But he couldn't go anywhere.  
  
_I cannot leave here, I cannot stay  
Forever haunted, more than afraid  
asphyxiate on words I would say   
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue  
  
_He was growing afraid of the meetings now, though he would never show it. They had always been a subject of nightmares for him they had always been the cause of many sleepless nights. Some of the nightmares were so horrific even the dreamless sleep potion couldn't drown them out. He heard a female voice murmur an almost silent obscenety as she took sight of him. He tried to question the wtich, to see who she was, but found himself choking on the effort. Instead, he lay there staring at the sky fighting to breathe, fighting to stop the pain coursing through his body. If only because he recognized the voice, the voice of his love.  
  
_There are no flowers, no not this time  
There will be no angels, gracing the lines  
Just these stark words I find  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak  
Just how much this hurts me  
  
_He felt his body being lifted, knowing that she had cast a levitation charm on him, and he felt himself floating over the grounds. He was alive, this time, although he was unsure that if he had been there much longer if he would still be. He had come close tonight, too close, and he knew it. He felt himself being settled down into his large four poster bed. He half expected to close his eyes and see angels beckoning to him, he half expected, and half hoped not to wake up. But he knew that this wasn't his time.  
  
He felt soothing hands gently rub his back, calming the twitching nerves somewhat, before he found himself lying face up once again. He felt the potion being poured down his throat, and the fire that he felt throughout his body slowly cooled. He wanted to voice his pain, but he couldn't. He knew his body was telling it all for him though. He tried to turn the corners of his mouth up into a smile, but found he didn't have the energy for even such a small gesture. He knew that she knew his pain, though, and he knew that she knew exactly how much she meant to him, no matter how few times he actually told her, he knew that she knew it.  
  
_I cannot stay here, I cannot leave  
Just like all I loved, I'm make believe  
Imagine heart, I disappear...  
seems No one will appear here and make me real_  
  
There really was no place he could go. The longer he stayed at Hogwarts, the more of a target he made the castle. It was bad enough that Potter had come back to teach there. Now that he had been found out as a spy, the place was even more dangerous. Especially for his love. The first person, the first thing he had ever really truly loved that was tangible. He had fallen in love with ideas, with his own whims, but never with a real person.

She was the first one that could make him feel again, make him feel like a human. Before, he had been simply a shell of a man. Before her, he wished he could just dissapear, but now that she was there, he couldn't. he had finally found someone to love, someone to make him whole again, make him feel real again. He couldn't leave her behind. He had to stay, for her sake, for his heart's sake, he would rather die than spend his life alone without her.  
  
_There are no flowers, no not this time  
There will be no angels, gracing the lines  
Just these stark words I find  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak  
Just how much this hurts me_  
  
This time, he had been spared, he would go on to fight again, another day. This time, he had been allowed to return to his love, to return to her gentle care. This time, he was alive, there wouldn't be flowers for him, there would be no angels calling for him. "I love you Hermione." He rasped out letting his head fall back on the pillow. He used all of energy to say that, and had none left to fight off the pain that once again coursed through his body, sending it into spasms once again.  
  
"I love you too, Severus." The calming voice spoke, as he felt a gentle hand brush his hair out of his face. He felt his body stop, and he looked up at her, telling her silently with his eyes just how much she meant to him, smiled with his eyes, lacking the energy to do anything else, as he felt the dreamless sleep potion taking it's hold on him. He gently closed his eyes, knowing that at least for now, he would get one more chance, one more day with his love.  
  
FIN 


End file.
